Since this is my first-ever post, let me give you a little peek into my life as the devoted Mom of a loving, sweet, extremely intelligent and very misunderstood little girl. Her name is Georgia, and she is 7 years old. She is amazing. She is hilarious. She has the biggest heart. And she was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.

I say "diagnosed with", rather than "has" because I guess I do not fully agree with this label she has been given. I see a very different little girl than the "picture" of her that is created by psychologists with their diagnostic criteria filled with questions that don't always apply and for which the answer is often a guess. Yes, our girl has some traits in common with the typical "Aspie", but she has many qualities that fly in the face of the traditional picture of one who has this condition. Unlike most Aspies, Georgia has an incredible sense of humor. She is also extremely compassionate and empathetic - again, a quality that Aspies are not supposed to possess.

Georgia has a great deal of difficulty in life, despite her gregarious and infectious personality. She has a really hard time with transitioning from one activity to another. She is a "black and white" thinker. She is a "control freak". And she has a lot of physical problems that are invisible to us, but which cause her extreme discomfort and distress. They are things that would not bother a child with "neurotypical development", but for Georgia, they are hell. They trigger extreme emotional distress - the fight or flight response. A "temper tantrum on steroids" over which she has little, if any control.

It has taken us a long time to "get it", but now that we have better insight into what our little one goes through every single day, we have a much better appreciation for what a strong and amazing kid she really is. I can't really blame others for not understanding - or even believing - she has any issues; Sensory Integration Disorder (SPD) is a mysterious, confusing bitch of a condition. The only consistent thing about it is that it is highly inconsistent. Predictably unpredictable.

As her parents, we have seen very alarming behavior in our girl. She can be so irritable and unreasonable that she will hit and throw things and scream out hurtful things. It is like watching her become the Incredible Hulk, only without the green skin tone. At first, we would deal with these episodes like most parents, as if they were behaviors that needed to be modified by discipline. It soon became apparent, however, that this course of action served only to make matters worse. She was not "misbehaving", she was having a severe reaction to something of a physiological nature. The fight or flight response was taking over.

To watch your sweet, happy child fly into a full on rage over something as simple as moving a toy from one side of the room to the other is never easy. And to watch this repeated over and over through the course of a day is sheer hell. Knowing that she, too, is confused by and afraid of what is happening to her is far worse than living through the melt downs. Her self esteem has suffered tremendously, and she has said so many self deprecating things in the aftermath of a meltdown; things you would never expect to hear from a girl so young. She very obviously feels a tremendous amount of guilt, shame and self-loathing over the things she says and does during an attack. And she has told me that when they happen, she cannot control herself.

I believe what she tells me. She has nothing to gain from these episodes. They come over her like a sudden storm on a sunny day. In a similar fashion to an epileptic seizure. I choose to deal with them in a calm, compassionate fashion. To help her ride them out, then help her come to terms with her feelings. She doesn't need to be punished or reprimanded - she does more than enough of that to herself.

When your child is diagnosed with a Neurodevelopmental disorder, you end up parenting under a microscope. You constantly deal with often very condescending "advice" from social workers and doctors, My parenting skills are constantly being called into question by those who do not know my child as I do. But in the deepest recesses of my being, I know that this is the right way to parent Georgia.  Like any 7 year old, she will try to push the boundaries, however 9 out of 10 times, her extreme behavior is triggered by a nervous system gone haywire.

While doctors, social workers and psychologists are certainly knowledgeable, they simple do not have the same level of insight into my child and her issues that I do. They have not spent hundreds of hours searching for every bit of information they can find to explain and understand a child with such complicated issues. They do not witness the meltdowns that occur with no visible trigger at times when there is absolutely nothing to be gained through the behavior. And they do not see the kind, generous, highly intelligent and compassionate soul that is my Georgia. I am her mother, and I will be her strongest advocate. I will probably piss off more than a few social workers, doctors and psychologists before Georgia reaches adulthood, but I will be damned before I will allow her to be pidgeon holed, labeled, misdiagnosed or forced to learn in an environment where her needs are not adequately addressed.